Premarital Mentoring

 

Cornerstone offers marriage preparation through couple on couple mentoring. If you are currently engaged or are interested in pursuing marriage, please read our approach to premarital mentoring below to see if you think this could be a blessing to you. If you’re interested, please complete the form below. Questions? Please contact Associate Pastor Max Diener at mdiener@cornerstonetulsa.org

 

Why premarital mentoring?

Cornerstone premarital mentors are couples who have walked through years of marriage and can serve as facilitators as you process through your questions, hopes, fears, and dreams. These mentor couples are trained and use a supporting curriculum to walk you through preparing for marriage.

Mentoring prior to marriage is accepting an opportunity to put strongholds in place for long- lasting respect, friendship, and happiness. Premarital mentoring gives couples an opportunity to gain insights into growth-areas in their relationship and identify strengths to build on. By understanding personality differences, couples can better prevent conflict and develop a better skill set to handling disagreements. 

Learning skills to manage conflict prior to the marriage can set the tone for healthy communication and understanding. Added benefits include discussing expectations, setting realistic goals, and having a third party to help talk through on-going conflict.

In order to facilitate these things, we use a curriculum called Prepare/Enrich.

Why PREPARE/ENRICH?

PREPARE/ENRICH first provides each couple with an easy-to-use, confidential, online

assessment. Assessments can be customized based on the background and needs of the couple, such as previous marriages, stepchildren, older couples, or faith-based scales. After both partners complete their portion of the assessment, the mentor couple receives a copy of the report to be printed for use in counseling.

Topics covered in the assessment and program include a personality profile for each partner; relationship dynamics measured by assertiveness, self-confidence, avoidance, and partner dynamics; and 10 core scales of relationship health:

  • Communication

  • Conflict Resolution

  • Partner Style and Habits

  • Financial Management

  • Leisure Activities

  • Sexuality and Affection

  • Family and Friends

  • Relationship Roles

  • Children and Parenting

  • Spiritual Beliefs

A workbook is provided to structure exercises to do between sessions including personal stress profiles, financial management planning, and family of origin maps, among others.

How long does the mentoring last?

The online assessment should take each partner about 20 minutes to complete at home. On average, couples meet together for 8 weeks. Ideally, at least one of these meetings happens after the wedding as a way to check in on how things are going.

How much does it cost?

The PREPARE/ENRICH online assessment costs $35.

Will someone officiate my wedding?

Because of the number of couples who get married at Cornerstone, we cannot guarantee that a pastor will be available to officiate your wedding. However, we recognize that marriage is a sacred rite and for those who are members of Cornerstone, we want to make ourselves available. Please indicate if you need an officiant when you complete your registration form and we will work with you.