Baptisms and blessings for children
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the one whose quiver is full of them” (Ps. 127:3-5).
Whether they are adopted or biological, children are a gift of God. Kids are uniquely honored in our church because “The Kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mark 10:14).
Jesus chastised the disciples when they hindered children from approaching Jesus. On the Day of Pentecost, Peter said that the message of Christ’s resurrection was “for you and your children” (Acts 2:39).
As children are born into the families of our church, we want to celebrate them, thank God for them and pray God’s blessings over them. There are a few ways families can do that.
Understanding the Options
Baptism
When Jesus was born, his parents took two distinct actions that help us to discern ways we can honor the Lord for the gift of our kids. First, as members of God’s Covenant Family, Joseph and Mary had Jesus circumcised. Circumcision was the sign that Jesus was to be included along with his parents as part of God’s covenant family. The sign was given before Jesus (or any 8-day old baby) could express faith in Yahweh of his own volition. The expectation and prayer was always that in growing up as part of the believing family, Jesus would be trained to follow God’s Way and resolve himself to continue along it as a teenager and adult.
As the church was born on the Day of Pentecost and more and more non-Jewish people came to join God’s Covenant Family through faith in Christ, baptism came to be regarded as the new sign of inclusion in God’s Family. From the beginning, this new sign was also extended to children. A Church Father named Hippolytus wrote: “Baptize first the children, and if they can speak for themselves let them do so. Otherwise, let their parents or other relatives speak for them” (approx. 215 AD).
The practice of infant baptism flowed from the understanding that baptism was more about what God was doing than what we are doing. It was understood to be a profession of God’s love for the child and action in the life of the child and it was understood to be a formal way, mandated by Jesus, for inviting the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of the child and the family. Did it guarantee the child would choose the way of Jesus for him or herself? Certainly not. But it was a formal way of proclaiming that before the child could do anything to earn God’s favor or lose it, they were beloved. It was a proclamation of grace and an act of the Spirit!
Because of the mysterious understanding of God’s Divine work in baptism, we do not re-baptize those who have been baptized as children. Rather, we encourage them to live into their baptism! God did his job the first time; our invitation now is to live into our baptized identity: “You are my son/daughter whom I love, with you I am well-pleased.” My prayer is that for the children in our church who are baptized as infants, some day they will stand before our congregation and say something like: “My parents chose this for me when I was a baby, but today I’m choosing for myself to follow in the way of Jesus.” This could be through something like Confirmation – or simply in sharing their testimony.
On the day of a child’s baptism, we ask parents to answer weighty and important questions on their behalf (because they can’t speak for themselves). The questions focus on repentance for sin, allegiance to Christ and a commitment to teach the child the Christian faith and raise him/her in the community of faith. I urge you not to choose baptism for your child if you are not prepared to uphold these vows with God’s help. Put differently: Do not choose baptism if you don’t intend to participate in the life of the church regularly and faithfully.
Blessing / Dedication
In addition to his circumcision, Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the Temple to “present him to the Lord” (Luke 2:22). This gives us an imaginative framework for understanding the practice of Baby Dedication or “Blessings” as we call it. While infant baptism is normal for most churches in the Anglican Tradition, because so many people in Tulsa have grown up with different understandings of baptism, we offer Blessings to provide hospitality and not force people into baptism who are not ready or theologically/biblically comfortable with it yet.
In a dedication or blessing, we thank God and celebrate the gift of the child as a community. We ask the parents simply if they resolve to teach their child the way of Jesus and raise them in the community of faith and we give parents the opportunity to write a prayer for their child. At the end, the pastor and congregation pray blessings over the family. We want to mark and celebrate this special moment and pray that God would so work in the life of the child and family that someday he or she would choose to follow Jesus and be baptized.
Conclusion
In our community, infant baptism is not better than an infant blessing and an infant blessing is not better than baptism. The options are available as a way of providing “big-tent hospitality” to families with different backgrounds and understandings of baptism. We want to operate with a Spirit of Generosity and honor children by offering either option.
For further study, we recommend: